The past week has been such a struggle.. Each kid has been taking their turn with a bad head cold, I feel as though I have not gotten a thing done.
So as most close family and friends know I am a stay home mom of the three nuggets. I consider this to be the best job in the world and I am so blessed to be able to do that, however the other day someone I ran into made a comment to me. For the very first time in 7 years of being a mother I was told ” I don’t know how you do it.”
I can honestly tell you that in all these years I was in complete shock over this comment. Why you ask?
Let’s trace back 7 years when my daughter was born! The anticipation of it all being a first time mom. So many questions were asked… will you use cloth diapers, breast or bottle feed…are you staying home or working.. how far out do you plan to have more kids… make sure you do not feed them x, y , z….but be sure to use this lotion. I could not have been more overwhelmed.
Back to the why…. if you just pause for a moment… really just look around. Every mom is different and yet somehow we are all tangled into this web of a MOM WAR…. the judgement and criticism we as women all give each other. In my mind being a mom in general is tough enough let alone listening to the judgement from other moms. Why can’t we just accept each other’s parenting styles and be happy? To know that there is someone out there who always has it worse than us and we are the lucky ones to have beautiful, healthy children is something we should really consider.
So as i sat back and thought about this comment for a second I responded back ” I don’t know how you do it!” I can tell you I chose to stay home, and I chose to have more than one child. I chose to breast and bottle feed etc etc. So many people ask me or tell me for that matter
“Wow your brave….Oh my three kids .. you have an army…too many kids…. how can you afford them…oh you stay home so you must get to rest whenever you like.”
I wouldn’t change what I have for the world, but let me state this …I may stay home but I’m lucky if i get the chance to sit for 5 minutes uninterrupted whereas someone who works full-time does not have a toddler or other children rushing into the bathroom every chance they notice your gone, or hang on you every second. I certainly do not rest when I want to. I clean every inch of my house, do workbooks, and projects at home with my kids, keep them involved in many things around the house all the meanwhile preparing every meal. I do not get adult socialization until my husband arrives home to which he is attacked by a herd of children. I then prepare dinner and we send the kids off to bed… I too hit the sheets! I sometimes too envy those moms who have that wonderful career and chance to be around adults…but i LOVE what I do. Its tiring and its hard but so is a full-time career. If you’re a full time working mom…I bow down to you because as tired as I may be, I’m sure you feel the same when you get home form a long day. We as moms need to stick together and not bash each other for how we live. We are one and we each do whats best for our own family. We as women as strong for our family and we are all equal yet all different.
Stop the Mom War please. If you and I meet someday and you feel the need to breastfeed… go ahead do it up. If you only give your kids healthy snack and I whip our fishy crackers… let me enjoy that moment. I support you and hope you support me. This is hard work and we were made to do this job!
xoxo Mommy Alicia